The Destiny of One

Novellas I love (that aren't Christmas books)

4:00 AM

Episode #8: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

4:00 AM

I had been thinking about my project for the week. Since there were no customers in the bookshop at the moment, I scrolled through my shopping app and my idea list. This week, I would send a random package to someone, just because. Who did I miss the most?

Evan

The name popped into my head. I hadn’t thought about him in a couple of weeks. When I talked with Joan again, I would ask her advice about Evan. I still missed him and still wished he hadn’t moved away. But I wouldn't be sending him a package. I had received his family’s updates on the church plant, but other than that, I hadn’t heard from him.

I shook myself. I needed to stop thinking about Evan and grieving that loss. Could it even be counted as a loss if I had never had him to begin with? I needed to accept that God’s plans for me weren’t exactly what I had wanted. Why had I even let myself hope or wish for someone who had only been nice to me?

My silly heart. I liked to think of myself as practical, but I still built up hopes like a typical girl. It was enough to make me question my maturity.

Now, on to my plans. I thought over people who needed some cheering up.

Crystal and Ivy

I had only planned to do one but I knew my younger sister and my friend both not only could use a surprise. I would have fun packing two different packages.

I quickly picked a few things in my shopping cart that I thought Crystal would like and had them shipped to her house.

Between customers, I came up with things I thought my sister would like. I decided to buy a fun old film and some themed items with it. She needed some more fun things in her life. I smiled as I hit the buy button. In a couple of days, she would get a surprise package in the mail. This would be fun.

With that done, I grabbed a cup of Lavender Vanilla tea and walked around straightening shelves. I found the kid's area was a mess. I supposed that mom hadn’t watched her two toddlers well or cared what they were doing. Too bad I had been distracted by another customer and hadn’t kept them from ripping one of the picture books.

I sighed and set the kid's area to rights and logged the damaged book into the records. I placed it in Lacie’s work area so she could decide if she would discount it or take it home to use in some clever craft project.

I glanced out the window and let out a slow breath and then felt a smile lift the corner of my mouth. Today may be an average day with its little ups and downs. Making up the packages had been fun, but it didn’t flood me with emotion. Much like my Bible reading this morning. I had been glad to spend the time in God’s word, but it hadn’t flooded me with good feelings either.

Yet, I savored the normalcy and realized how often I had taken the average days for granted. I didn’t want to do that again.

I moved back to the counter as the door opened.

“Good day, Pastor Bob,” I said to one of our regulars.

“Hi, Pam!” I lifted his briefcase slightly to me. I saw his signature yellow pad peeping out. “I’m going to look at the menu for a minute before I decide.” He always said that.

I replied the same way I always did: “Take your time.”

I took the moment before he picked which syrup he wanted in his black tea, to jot down in my mercies notebook.

Normal days

Regular customers

That I don’t have I drink coffee, only serve it.

I lay on my bed, trying to decide which of the items on my checklist to do next week, and also read Stranger in Williamsburg When my door burst open and Ivy ran in and threw her arms around me.

“I love it!”

“Love what?” I asked and then my brain remembered and I smiled. “Oh!”

She laughed and retreated out of my room and returned with the box. There were the Cinderella-themed items in there I had picked out. “It’s perfect.”

I looked at the fun items. Cyrstal had loved the pens, highlighters, and annotation tabs I had sent her. It made me want to send random gifts to people every day.

“I’m going to put the socks on now. How did you know I wanted this version of Cinderella?”

I laughed. “Perhaps because you check it out for the library about five or six times a year. They probably have a copy they keep there just for you.”

She hugged me again. “Thanks. This really made my day.” She let out a sigh.

I sat next to her. “Rough day?”

She shrugged. “My co-worker Rene was making fun of the fact I still live at home and she and her friend Carl were talking about how their parents had divorced a while ago and… Do you ever worry we are getting life wrong? I’m scared when I think about if Mom and Dad can’t work things out.”

I gave her another side hug. “There are many things I question in life, Ivy. Living at home isn’t one of them. After all, I love my job and my housemates are people I know and trust. As for Mom and Dad, I know there are no guarantees, but I think they both love Jesus and will do what they need to to work things out.”

Ivy nodded. “I guess sometimes, it’s just hard to be different.”

We talked for a long time. Ivy sharing her struggles. I mostly listened. When I finally had to go to sleep, I made sure I put the conversation in my mercies notebook before I shut off the lights.

You can find Stranger in Williamsburg on Goodreads on Amazon

Sunday Song

I Surrender All

4:00 AM

My somewhat normal life

Ways I'm stretching myself this year

4:00 AM

singleness

Best Books for Singles

4:00 AM

Valentine's Book Recommendations

4:30 AM

Would you like some seasonal reading? This is something I'm really enjoying reading books based on the season or holiday. I'm here today with a few Valentine's Day recommendations for you to read:

Tell Me You Love Me: This is a timeless collection of stories that truly understand the meaning of “I love you” Twelve young Christian authors have come together, alongside romance novelist Grace A. Johnson and editor Issabelle Perry to show our world of depravity and cheap imitations of romance what love really means: faith, hope, and sacrifice. These stories range from contemporary YA to historical to fantasy, and tell diverse, unique love stories that compel, captivate, and warm readers’ hearts with their sweet and authentic nature.

A String of Paper Hearts: A rejected invitation to a dance sends Jeremiah Clark spinning and evaluating what is important in life. Can he change to be the man worthy of the girl he has loved for a long time?

Pace was shocked when the wrong Clark brother asked her to the dance. However, as she faces hardships, she is forced to confront the person she is becoming. Can she become the woman God wants her to be amid the trials?

Paper Hearts: Abigail Pressman would never have guessed that love notes penned on paper hearts by an anonymous couple could restore her belief in love. As a business owner in a quaint town at the base of the Rockies, she’s poured everything into dreams of expansion...and resisting the matchmaking efforts of the Valentine Volunteers, who gather in her store to continue Loves Park’s tradition of stamping mail with the city’s romantic postmark.

Devotedly: Riveting for old and young alike, this moving account of their personal lives shines as a gold mine of lived-out truth, hard-fought purity, and an insider’s view on two beloved Christian figures.

Lore in Love: Inspired by Laura from Little Town on the Prairie, Lore reaches out to her community, celebrates Valentine's Day, and makes a new friend who could become more.

A Cord of Three Strands: Follow the love stories of those who served in public positions such as soldiers; martyrs; and pastors through the letters they wrote to their loved ones. However marriage is not purely about the husband and wife; there is another strand which is vital. Marriage is a gift from God and a most important factor in the strength of that marriage is the love we have for the Giver of that gift

Southeaster Lodge: Katy Meyer has longed for adventure and romance all her life.

So when the opportunity comes to leave her family and her small town for a job at the prestigious Southeaster Lodge, she jumps at the chance.

At first, she is enchanted by the bustling life of a tourist destination, as well as by new friends and, in particular, the charming and witty son of the lodge's owner.

Something Sweet, Someone Sweet: Several years after the passing of his first wife, Matt’s daughter, Evelyn, has declared it’s time for him to find a new one. His best friend, Jacob Tanners, already has someone picked out for him. But is he ready to cross that bridge, especially with a woman he barely knows?

Annie’s just a barista determined to make people’s day a little brighter with a cup of coffee. One customer catches her attention more than the rest, but he never smiles, orders his coffee black, and he might be handsome, too. But appearance isn’t a good enough reason to fall in love. Is there anything else that can tie them together?

Do you like to read books in season?

friends

The Classic Children's Book Themed Shower

4:30 AM

The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis Episode #7

4:00 AM

The Sarah’s Journey Series had been a favorite in my early teens. I curled up on the couch with a mug of tea and dove into Home on Stony Creek. I was preparing to enjoy my day off.

As I enjoyed the setting of the early days of the American Revolution and Sarah’s journey to the wilds of Kentucky, I sipped at my tea and enjoyed the cozy feeling.

“We are going shopping? Do you want to come with us?”

I looked up at Meg and Ivy. They were all ready to go and by the looks on their faces, I knew they expected me to say no. I opened my mouth to do just that and then I stopped myself. Wasn’t spending some quality time with my sister one of the things on my list? The three of us used to do so much together but the last year, with my job and hurts, I had pulled out.

I could hear Ben and Asa in the other room, playing a game of Risk, a favorite Saturday pastime for our brothers.

I stood. I had withdrawn and I wouldn’t keep doing that. “I would love to come with you. That is…” I looked between them. “If you want me. I know I haven’t been the best company.”

“Of course we want you!” Meg rushed to give me a hug.

Ivy didn’t look as eager but she nodded her head.

I put my book down. “I’ll be ready in a few moments.”

I rushed into my room and changed clothes, made sure to reapply deodorant, and grabbed my purse. I was about to rush out the door when I saw my list of things to do. I glanced at the page that held things I wanted to do with my siblings.

Take my sisters to that fancy ice cream place we’ve wanted to try.

I nodded. That would be the one I would do with them. It would be fun, spontaneous, and enjoyable despite the cold.

I took a deep breath and offered a prayer that I would be a blessing to my sisters.

“I can’t believe how good this is,” Meg said between bites of her vanilla ice cream loaded with candy bits.

Ivy nodded as she licked away at her blueberry cheesecake ice cream in the fresh-made waffle cone.

I smile as I scoop up another bite of cookies and cream from my dish. “It really is good.”

“We should come here more often,” Meg said. “Make it a regular girls thing.”

I smiled at my enthusiastic sister but said nothing. I enjoyed doing this for them. I loved the ice cream, but it wasn’t cheap. I didn’t think any of us would be coming here for a while.

“I just wish we could have more fun.” Meg set down her spoon. “Since Dad and Mom announced they were going into counseling, everyone has been mopping and acting like we are waiting for someone to die.”

“Can we not talk about this?” Ivy shifted in her seat and her eyes darted around.

“Why? Why can’t we ever talk about what’s going on? Is there something I don’t know?” Meg asked.

“I’m just tired of talking about sad things.” Ivy swallowed and stared at her ice cream like she suddenly didn’t want it. “Can’t we just have fun?”

Meg sighed. “Why does everything have to be about what you want. Just because you’re the youngest doesn’t make life about you.”

As the oldest, I felt I should probably say or do something, but I wasn’t sure what I should say or do. Somehow, I felt like if I had been reading my Bible like I should, I would at least have an idea of what I should say.

Tears slipped down Ivy’s face. “That’s not true. I just am tired of all the sad stuff.”

I took a deep breath, knowing I had to intervene.

“It can be hard when everything has been so heavy not to want to keep things light. Meg, maybe you and I can talk about things when we get home.”

Meg crossed her arms. “Why is everyone avoiding this.”

“Maybe because we are all afraid of what this means for our family if Mom and Dad don’t work things out.” I blurted.

Ivy set her one down on the table and covered her eyes with her hands.

Great, I had made this into a worse mess. “Ivy, I’m sorry. I…”

“Are they going to divorce?”

“Of course not.”

“I don’t think so.” My answer overlapped Meg's. I moved toward Ivy. “I’m really sorry things are so rough right now. We can try to make things happy for the rest of the day.”

Ivy huffed. “All you do is mop around and think about how you’ve been hurt. Why do you suddenly care?” She dashed off toward the bathroom.

Tears sprung to my eyes. I felt like I had been stabbed. Here I had been trying to give my sisters a good time and I had caused them more pain. Is that all I was capable of these days? Feeling pain and causing it?

No, I needed to also remember what Joan had said. I needed to combat these lies and remind myself of God’s truth. We were all hurting. It had been a hard year for all of us. I had just drifted away further because of everything with Jessie.

“I’m sorry. I just thought it might help if we talked.” Meg had her arms crossed and leaned back in her chair. She looked for all the world like a sulking toddler.

I took a deep breath. “I think you’re right, but Ivy wanted this to be a fun day.”

“She always wants things to be fun and happy! She never wants to talk about hard things. And please don’t remind me she is only seventeen. I’m tired of that line.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t going to tell you that. I was going to suggest you and I have a long talk about things and hopefully, Ivy will…

“I’m sorry.” Ivy’s choked whisper brought both of us to look at her. “I just…” her tears spilled over again. “I heard someone say Dad and Mom would probably be divorced by summer and it… I don’t want to think about it.”

I reached out a hand to her. “None of us want to think about that. I don’t think our parents even consider that a possibility okay?”

“Then why are they in counseling every week and acting mad with each other?” Ivy asked, wiping her eyes.

I pressed my lips together, trying to decide how much to say. I knew more than I wanted to know. “Dad…did some stuff in the past Mom just found out about.”

Ivy rolled her eyes. “I’m not a baby. I know about the pornography.”

I swallowed. I wished we lived in a world where neither I nor any of my siblings had to know those sorts of things existed. “I wasn’t thinking you were a baby. I just wasn’t sure everyone had been told. Anyway, they have a lot to work through.”

“Do you think they will stay married?”

Both my sisters looked at me like I was their lifeline. I took a bite of my ice cream and then nodded slowly. “I think they will. But we can’t expect them to be happy and back to normal in a few weeks. It is going to take time.”

Both of them looked like I had given them hope. I reached and took each of their hands, grateful for the connection and closeness I shared with them.

“We’ll get through this together.”

They smiled and looked at each other.

“Now, let’s eat our ice cream and then go get some stuffed animals or something else fun.

As I sat on my bed, I pulled out my Mercies notebook.

Mercies this week:

Ice cream with my sisters

The ability to cry together

My new stuffed Red Panda, Lucy

God’s gift of sisters